I do not need to spell it out. I have to be careful, because this web site is under constant surveillance by the FBI already. There are certain things that one cannot legally say about the president. I am not sure if this applies to his daughter.

Jenna Bush appearing in Court to be sentenced for under-aged drinking

Let me explain it like this: The president's twin 19-year-old daughters drink and smoke and it is obvious what else they do, too. We need to hold them up as shining examples for our female friends to follow. My mind is already churning on ways that I can possibly establish what one might call a "friendship" with Jenna Bush, the wilder of the two. I think you can figure out what I have in mind.

Jenna Bush yesterday pled guilty and was sentenced to hours of community service for under-aged drinking. This is the good news. Now, the plan is how to get her drunk again. The Secret Service will not cause any problem. Their job is just to protect the president's daughter, not to interfere in her love life.

Jenna Bush appearing in Court watched by a Secret Service agent

Too bad Chelsea Clinton never gave us the action it seems that we are going to be getting from Jenna Bush.

For the last three months, the Esther's Follies comedy club in Austin, Texas where Jenna attends college has been running a skit in which a Jenna character stumbles across the stage and is about to flash her breasts when the Secret Service grabs her.

"We were doing this before she got busted, because we all know she's a big party girl," said Kerry Awn, one of the actors.

Jenna Bush busted again

• The First Twins: Jenna and Barbara Bush
• Bush Watch for Gossip
• NY Post reports: Jenna is having trouble because people in Austin hate her father
• Wanted for Kidnapping
• The Slave Children of Thomas Jefferson
• Order "The Slave Children of Thomas Jefferson" by Sam Sloan, from Amazon Books
• Order "The Slave Children of Thomas Jefferson" from Barnes and Noble
• Dangers of Drinking and Driving

The Bush Twins, Jenna and Barbara