The Story of Oscar Ernesto Lopez

When I first came to El Salvador in January, 1983, naturally the first thing I did was go to the chess club, which was in the national sports stadium. The first person I met there was Oscar Ernesto Lopez, who said something grievously insulting to me, but he later became my friend.

Ernesto Lopez was a chess expert, about 2000 to 2050 in strength, but he never played tournament chess. He only played blitz. At that time, this put him in the top ten players in El Salvador.

He helped me get a room in a cheap hotel called the "Boarding House Barletta", which was just east of the main square in San Salvador. It has since burned down, I am told.

Ernesto Lopez made his meager living buying and selling jewelry. He spent most of his time playing billiards and chess. His English was fairly good. His story was that he once had a jewelry store in Chicago. He shot and killed a man who tried to rob his store. He pled guilty to a minor crime, but had to be deported. He left a son behind in Chicago. The son had been born in El Salvador but the mother had disappeared, so Ernesto had taken his son to Chicago.

When Ernesto was going to be deported, they were going to send the son, too. However, they do not deport children, so Ernesto had left the son behind in an orphanage in Chicago, feeling that he would be better off there.

I saw many letters the son wrote in English asking for money, but of course Ernesto did not have any.

Ernesto was not an attractive man. Indeed, he was ugly. However, he was aggressive when it came to women, and he got results!

He told a story, which I am not sure if I believe it, but here it is:

In 1976, the Miss Universe Contest was held in El Salvador. Miss Costa Rica was staying at the hotel there. Ernesto knew about Costa Rican women and he sought her out. He told her that he was one of the judges in the Miss Universe competition and that the next day she would see him in the judge's booth. On the basis of this, Miss Costa Rica had gone to bed and had had sexual intercourse with Oscar Ernesto Lopez. Imagine her disappointment when she was on the stage the next day and did not see Ernesto in the judge's booth!

I knew Ernesto got results like this because, not only were we both living in the Boarding House Barletta together, but my room was next to his. I could hear the moans and groans through the paper-thin walls which separated our rooms.

One day, I was walking down the street near the cathedral with Oscar Ernesto Lopez, when he said: "I can fuck any woman in this country."

He repeated this in Spanish: "En este país, yo puedo cojer con cualquier mujer." (My Spanish is very good por un Gringo, but not perfect.)

I told him that I was sure that in this country he could fuck many women, perhaps even a majority, but he could not fuck all of them.

"No", Ernesto replied. "I can fuck absolutely any woman in this country."

He then challenged me. "Here we are in a public place. There are many woman here. Point out any woman you can see, any woman here, and I will fuck her, and I will prove it to you."

I looked around the square. I saw a telephone box and a long line of people waiting to use the telephone. At the end of the line was a short, squat Indian woman. "There", I said. "See that woman at the end of the line. I bet that you cannot fuck her."

"Her?", Ernesto replied. "That is too easy. Pick someone else. I want more of a challenge."

"No", I said. "That is my selection. Now, go and prove to me that you can fuck her."

Ernesto went up to the line and stood in line pretending that he wanted to use the telephone. He struck up a conversation with the Indian woman. I should mention that in Central America, they do not like the term "Indian". They are known as "Indígenas", because they are indigenous to the area.

I watched from a distance. Ernesto struck up a conversation with the woman. She made her call. Since he did not really need to make a telephone call, they walked off together.

I followed from a distance and could not believe what I saw. They headed straight for the Boarding House Barletta and Ernesto took the woman straight up to his room.

However, five minutes later they came back down. Ernesto later explained that he did not have sex with the woman. This is something he always does. He tells the woman that he needs to go back to his place to get an important book. He takes her to his room and collects the book. This way, the woman knows where he lives and he has her briefly in his room. All this is to prepare the way for what will happen later.

And, it did happen. That night, I could hear through the walls in my room that Ernesto had the woman in his room and was having sexual intercourse with her. Ernesto had won the bet.

She was from Chalatenango, I believe. However, there was a problem, which was that the woman kept coming. One day, she came up to our rooms at the Boarding House Barletta. Ernesto was not there and I told her so. Okay, she said, she would wait.

A few hours later, I came back and she was still waiting.

A few hours more and she was still there.

Finally, I decided to go find Ernesto.

No problem, Ernesto was playing at the local billiards hall. I told him the girl was waiting for him. He said that after this game, he would go and see her.

A few hours more passed and the girl was still sitting in the hotel waiting for Ernesto. I went back to the billiards parlor and Ernesto was still playing.

"Why should I go fuck her." said Ernesto. "I have beautiful women I can fuck. Why should I waste my time fucking her?"

"Have pity on the poor girl," I said. "She has been sitting there for nine hours, since morning. Have some pity on her and please go and fuck her."

Finally, reluctantly, Ernesto put away his pool stick and went to fuck the girl.

The next time I saw her, she came to tell Ernesto that she was pregnant. He got mad about that. He told her that he was going to give her some money to kill the baby. She refused, saying that she could not kill her child.

She came more times. The next time, Ernesto said that it is his policy not to fuck pregnant women and he sent her away. Again, she refused his offers of money to kill the baby.

Nine months later, the baby was born. It was a boy.

This all happened in 1983. By now, the child should be 17 years old.

There is probably living in El Salvador today a 17-year-old boy who has probably never heard of Sam Sloan and who probably does not know that he owes his very existence to the fact that Sam Sloan once made a bet with Oscar Ernesto Lopez that he could not fuck any woman in El Salvador.

This is a true story.

Sam Sloan

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