DR. REDMAN SHOULD RESIGN
By Larry Parr
Sam Sloan has called upon Tim Redman to resign. I support this bullhorn bellowing, though for absolutely the opposite reason advanced by Mr. Sloan.
Mr. Sloan argues that Dr. Redman should resign now because he has every reason to resign. I argue that Mr. Redman should resign because he has absolutely no reason to resign. Or, at least, none that I know about.
How refreshing it would be for a political figure to relinquish power for absolutely no reason whatsoever -- not even because he wishes to do so based upon a momentary whim. How refreshing it would be if Dr. Redman were to issue the following statement: "I hereby resign as president of the USCF for absolutely no reason whatsoever. None. I neither wish to resign nor wish not to resign. Which, if you read the preceding sentence again, amounts to the same thing either way or not. Mine is the first resignation by a politician without the subtext of a *because*. Not even *because* I wish to resign. I do not. Mind you, I do not not wish to resign either. Nor am I resigned to resigning -- or not. Mine is a move that harkens back to 6th century India when precursors of chess were played with dice. Which, however, does not mean that I am resigning *because* "of a throw of dice. My decision is an effect without a cause."
Such a statement by Dr. Redman would leave the office of the presidency open for some fool to fill.
Who? Not Helen Warren, Doris Barry and James Pechac -- they are too smart to want the job. Not John McCrary, Bob Smith and Joe Ippolito -- they are too dumb to have the job. Not any of the 827 or so defeated candidates in the last couple of elections -- they are too lucky to want anything to do with the EB. After all, no one went over the top twice at Gallipoli and survived.
Who then? Some are too smart, others too dumb and still others too lucky. Which leaves?
Someone who is too unlucky! At first blush, no one seems to qualify. No one could possibly be this unlucky. Except, well, Dr. Redman himself. Think of the irony here. Not only would he be the first politician to resign office for no reason of any kind, he could become the first politician to be reappointed for no reason of any kind except dumb lack of luck. An I, Claudius of Our Time -- a prisoner of a chess Praetorian Guard.
If Dr. Redman is to resign for no reason and is to be reappointed for no reason, then where does that leave us?
The careless of mind might argue that we are back at the beginning. I would argue that we are actually forward at the ending. Back to the future has nothing on this idea because we are moving resolutely forward in the past, which is what has already ended. Hence the earlier phrase, "forward at the ending," which some of you probably thought was completely nonsensical, didn't you?
Forward, then, at (not to) the ending. Or, as a Francoist general put the matter during the Spanish Civil War, "Long Live Death!"
Something that passes for an idea begins to penetrate the fog. What about Kevin "Carol-Is-Honest-Jarecki" Bachler for USCF President? Mr. Bachler would be getting precisely what he deserves and, arguendo, so would the USCF.
He would require a Board, of course. I would unhesitatingly serve as "Honest Carol" Bachler's Boswell in the capacity of secretary, while Sam Sloan would take the treasurer's post. The vice presidency would be filled by Don Schultz, whom Mr. Bachler could rely on dead cert to sign his death certificate. The three members, who are at large, might include Claude Bloodgood, Raymond Weinstein and Kirsan Ilyumzhinov.
Would this Board -- perhaps the first to be elected under OMOV -- do a worse job than previous Boards?
The answer is by no means obvious.
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