A Better Way to Bring the USA a Gold Medal in Chess

It is being said that the USCF Executive Board changed its regulations on March 16, 2003, in order to bring a gold medal in Women's Chess to the USA. However, if that is the goal, I have a better plan.

I am fully in favor of breaking Raymond Weinstein out of jail and sending him to the Olympiad. The last time Raymond Weinstein played in the World Chess Olympiad was in Leipzig, East Germany, where he won the gold medal and scored by far the best result for the US Team. Raymond Weinstein also won the gold medal for his score in the 1960 World Students Team Championship in Leningrad and, because of his result, the US Team won the World Student Team Championship.
Raymond Weinstein
Raymond Weinstein

Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding, Raymond Weinstein has been in jail ever since. For that reason, the USA has never again won the gold in either event, except in Israel when the entire Soviet Bloc boycotted the event.

Therefore, in order to bring the Glory of Gold to the USA once again, we must break Raymond Weinstein out of jail. I hereby nominate Larry Parr to head the jail-break team. We need to have a prepared plan, not only to break him out of jail, but to smuggle him out of the country to make sure that he is not arrested again. Perhaps we can get him to the Olympiad in Minorca with a black bag over his head. We will tell the officials at the Olympiad that he is Garry Kasparov's long lost half brother. (Remember that Garry Kasparov's real name is Weinstein.)

Raymond Weinstein has fully satisfied the USCF residency requirement. Not only is he a US citizen, but he has been in jail here for 37 years, due to the unfortunate circumstance of having killed one or two people (nobody can decide which). We should not let a little thing like that stop us from bringing the Glory of the Gold Medal to the USA once again.

Sam Sloan

PS I claim the movie rights for this. I saw a movie about sports like this. The police bring the star player in handcuffs and leg-irons to the big game and unlock him so that he can play. He scores the winning goal, runs off the field and escapes.


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