Wojo does go to UMBC.
i got a call at 7 a.m. and he woke me up to ask me what todays date was. i told him to check his cell phone calendar and then he would know for sure.
4 hours later he called me back and said i could go to ohio and play in a tournament that was not CCA rated and win a $1,000 expert prize next thing you know we are in a bus station in maryland and waiting for Ugene Gershov to come pick us up. This is where we are stranded there for like over 3 hours before eugene called back and came
we where brought to alex Wojo's apartment on UMBC campus. i was offered a beer by Wojo at 4 in the afternoon, and said, " ok, it helps me sleep better after ebing on the road for 10 hours" so me and alex in marylan of campus apartment drank all his beers, and headed out to Dayton Ohio about 10 hours later to get to the tournament He is our designated driver said he would not take his steriods that day, because it would make him unstable on the road.
we wound up in ohio about 7 hours later after driving 120 in a 65 zone and entered the tournament it turns out there was no expert prize.
but he insisited i paid all the gas money for the trip for being in the pressesnce of him and Wojo for the whole eventfull trip. so the TD at Dayton Ohio took about 12 expert entries at 77 dollars each and had no expert prize. Wojo took first, and Alex Goldin took first also tying, the t.d. in ohio said he owed no expert prize for the 12 experts because he didnt advertise one. so we are tied for third through fifth and got $30 all the rest of the money went in the t.d.'s pocket and then the time control for the tournament was game in 2 hours and 35 min sudden death, with no carbon copies. in the last round i was supposed to be paired with somone below 2200 to try to win and tie for my third place, ( $30 ) but the pairing was swithced. i had to play a local kid named carl boor, who beat me, only because i lost on time while out at the local bar with Wojo, driking brandy on his tab so then the T.D. tells me this is somehow FIDE rated even though there is no arbiter, and no standard time control, and no prizes????
so we three are rolling back home at 160 in a 50 zome, with alex being the designated driver, and wojo passed outin the back seat,
and then all of a sudden Wojo wakes up and says his russian history paper is due at 10 a.m. on monday. borsi got the right idea and put his foot on the pedal, and then we were making about 190 in a 45 in maryland, to get to his campus classroom on time to sumbit the paper.
so we made it in time
and Wojo passed the class.
and i got nothing for being an expert for one more week. and our KGB assigned escortes to Wojo were lost in the duat much realier, moslty because they got stuck beating up strip club security back in ohio that was about to jump on Wojo for grabbing a few dancers legs while in the act.
SO HERE IS MY PUBLIC APOLOGY
THIS SURE IS A LOT WORSE THAN GOICHBERG TOURNAMENTS i would prefer to get sucpicious pirings any day of the week in a goichberg tournament where my friends are all close near by, then to get sucpicious pairings in a Dayton Ohio tournament wher i ask the T.D. what did you think of gospel john 4:2 " and i said to the T.D i just want my fair pairing"
and then the T.D. turns to me, and says that i can not tell a bunch of bible reading people in ohio that new yorkers get skamed at there tourmanets, and the T.D. said
"i better shut up about that expert prize before his friends drag me into the back field and hit me with there ohio bible, and tell me if i look russain, and from brooklyn new york, must be jewish, we dont want you here
so that is dayton ohio nasty place
goichbertg is my best buddy now as long as he dosent report my 4,209
win for taxes,
and sophia rhode is cool also because , um , she is the best head giving t.d. assisnat to the head in town,
and mike rhode is cool becuase he lost about $90 dollars to me in the foxwwods poker game
raising and resraining with me to force everyone else out of every pot, and then letting me " take them all down " until he called 4ours full of 5ives capping it on every round, and i beat him with 4ours full of kings beating mikes full house flop, with a king on the turn card,
and so he busted out of our game and left me with all win online chess academy money for the month
peter sloan aravena
visit my website at www.chessartist.com
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