It is February 1984. We open with a street scene in Shanghai, China and dissolve to the dormitory of a youth hostel, which is a big room with about thirty beds, where a bunch of hippie type European young men and women are laying around discussing their travels. Most of them have back packs.

Our protagonist is named SAM. He tells the others that he is just about broke, down to his last $200.

A young, blond haired boy from Finland, in heavily accented and broken English, states:

The next morning, Sam goes to the Japanese consulate in Shanghai and applies for a visa. He has spruced himself up and looks much better than on the previous day. Still, the Japanese vice-consul eyes him with extreme suspicion.

This is, of course, a lie. However, the Japanese vice-consul finally gives Sam a visa.

Sam barely has enough money to buy a one-way ticket from Shanghai, China to Nagasaki, Japan, which is the nearest city in Japan with a direct flight from Shanghai. Upon arrival in Nagasaki, Sam goes to the site where his uncle was once part of the mission which dropped the A-bomb. After that, Sam stands on the freeway, trying to hitchhike. The Japanese police pick Sam up in a patrol car and warn him that it is illegal to hitchhike on the freeway. They drive Sam to a better spot, near the entrance to a major freeway. Sam catches a ride and starts his journey of hitchhiking to Tokyo.

Sam makes good progress and catches several rides. On about the fourth ride, he is picked up by three Japanese teenagers, two boys and a girl. By now, it is nighttime. The girl is very beautiful. She sits in the front seat between the two boys, but it seems that every chance she gets she turns around and smiles at Sam.

Soon, they go off the highway and stop at a private building. Sam and the three teenagers go inside. They wake up two other boys who are asleep on futons on the floor. This is obviously an office where business is done. After an agitated discussion, the four boys quickly leave, leaving Sam alone with the girl. The girl sits demurely on the floor and smiles radiantly at Sam, although she says nothing. She is very, very beautiful. Unfortunately for Sam, only a few minutes later, the boys excitedly charge back in the door and motion for Sam to come with them and get in the car. Sam gets in the car, leaving the girl behind. The four boys take Sam out to the freeway and leave Sam there to hitchhike some more.

Sam continues to hitchhike all through the night and through the next day. The last ride is a long ride with two Japanese businessmen. Incongruously, they play an American song entitled, "I Love Everything About My Boyfriend" over and over on their cassette player during the trip.

The two businessmen drop Sam off at Tokyo Station in downtown Tokyo. Sam finds his way to the tourist information booth and is given directions to the youth hostel in Ichigaya, where he spends the night.

INT. THE FRONT DESK AT THE YOUTH HOSTEL IN ICHIGAYA

The attendant points out the direction of the building, then looks up in a book, writes an address on a piece of paper and hands it to Sam. Sam leaves the youth hostel.

EXT. THE STREET IN FRONT OF THE NIHON KI-IN

Sam walks up the street and enters the headquarters of the " Nihon Kiin ", the Japan Go Association.

INT. THE ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICE FLOOR OF THE NIHON KI-IN

Sam enters the office and speaks to a person at one of the first desks.

The person does not speak but leafs through a notebook. (Note that everyone seems to understand Sam's English but rarely do they ever speak back to him.) The person finds a number and makes a telephone call, and then speaks on the telephone briefly in Japanese and hands the receiver to Sam. Sam speaks on the telephone.

Sam hangs up the phone, says thank you very much to the person who made the call for him, and leaves the Nihon Kiin.

EXT. ICHIGAYA STATION

Sam enters Ichigaya Station and buys a 120 yen ticket from a machine. Sam enters the station, where his ticket is punched. Sam gets off at Tokyo Station and finds his way to the green and yellow train. He goes nine stops. When he gets off, he climbs the stairs, and then wanders past the ticket taker, as though he is lost. The ticket taker is furiously taking the tickets of other departing passengers and seems not to notice Sam. Sam walks twenty minutes, finds the fire station, and sees Rogers' head poked out of his door waiting for him. Sam enters Rogers' office.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE

Rogers pulls out a futon which he has stored in the back of his office, plus some blankets. Sam spends the night sleeping on the futon. The next morning, the door opens while Sam is still asleep. Rogers comes in. Sam gets up, goes to the restroom and washes his face. Sam comes back and sits in a chair. The door opens and a young Japanese girl, dressed in a high school uniform, comes walking into Rogers' office.

Miki walks around Rogers' office, collects some papers and leaves shortly.

Now, at just that very moment, a girl happened to come walking through Sather Gate who Marvin knew. She was Japanese-American and Marvin pointed her out and said, "Now that's one bitch. I know for a fact that she's an officially registered student and I'm sure that there's no way that you could ever possibly plug her."

So right then and there Marvin and I made a suitable bet. He was my professor and he bet me a grade and I zipped off after the girl. And guess what! I won the bet, and Marvin paid me.

Then, one day, I was standing on the Fourth floor of Campbell Hall, the mathematics building, when I saw a graduate student whom I happened to know coming out of a math professor's office. He had some sort of book or manuscript under his arm. It was just a coincidence. I said "Hello", but he looked embarrassed, almost frightened, to see me.

Later, the FBI came to me. They somehow knew that I was dealing in the purloined books, which, of course, I denied. A book had been stolen from a math professor's office, but it had turned up as a used book in Moe's Bookstore. You see, this was not really a used book. This book had never been published, because it contained sensitive top secret information. This was a single special copy which had been provided solely to the math professor, who was the author. That was the only copy of this book in existence. The guy who stole it obviously must have thought that he was just stealing any old book. He had no idea of what he had. He had just sold it to Moe as a used book, and Moe had put it on the shelf of his used bookstore.

So, when the FBI came to me, I realized that coincidentally I knew who must have stolen it, but I didn't say anything. Later, I went to the Chairman of the Math Department in Campbell. At that time, they were fucking with my math degree. I really had all the credits, but they were holding it up for no valid reason. Probably they knew about the business was in. So I told the math chairman, "I know the story about the stolen book. I'll make a deal. You give me my math degree and, through my sources, I'll inquire and find out who stole your book." They knew who I was and what business I was in, so they made the deal. I gave up the name of the guy who stole the book and they gave me my math degree. He was arrested. I have no idea what happened to him.

The truth was that I had a whole network of guys who were getting me stuff. I had access to everything. But these were starving students, mostly. Some of them worked part time up at the Rad Lab. But this was all just small time. I was just helping a few students get an edge by selling them information on the latest unpublished scientific discoveries. I never sold anything to Japan. I would not have had the slightest idea how to go about it, even if I had wanted to. I just made a few dollars here and there. Still, I lived off of this for years, and I had this Japanese American girlfriend, and so they suspected me.

The main point was that, even though I wasn't doing what they suspected me of doing, at the same time, what I was doing wasn't 100 percent legal either, if you know what I mean. My guys were getting me stuff which I wasn't supposed to be able to get, so I couldn't stand an investigation. Almost as soon as the FBI finished interviewing me, I headed straight for the airport. I caught a flight to Tokyo. I never went back. I think about going back from time to time, but I'm still worried about it.

Rogers picks up the telephone.

EXT. THE JAPANESE NATIONAL RAILWAY SYSTEM

Rogers takes Sam to the train station. Sam buys a 120 yen ticket. Sam walks into the train station, has his ticket punched. Sam and Rogers get on the train. They get off at Tokyo Station. Sam walks past the ticket taker as though he is lost. The ticket taker doesn't bother him. Sam and Rogers go to the CPO (the "Central Post Office"). Rogers checks his PO box.

Rogers takes Sam to the Takashimaya Department Store, which is near Tokyo Station. Sam is fitted with a tailored suit. They then leave and walk across the street to the Bank of America lobby. TONY is waiting for them. Tony is a tall straggly looking American, about 40. Rogers invites Tony for lunch. The three of them go downstairs and enter a restaurant. They sit at a table.

INT. A RESTAURANT IN TOKYO

Sam, Tony and Rogers leave the restaurant and take the train to Mario's office, which is in Aoyama Itchome.

INT. MARIO'S ENGLISH LANGUAGE SCHOOL

MARIO is a 56 year-old American, the arch-typical "dirty old man." Mario runs an English language school in the Ishi Katsu Building at Aoyama Itchome. Mario sits at his desk at the far end of his office. Six Japanese women sit at desks shuffling paper and looking busy. One is a matronly woman in her mid-50's named Mrs. Sakai. The others are attractive young women aged 19 to 27. The 19-year-old is named HIROMI. The 27-year-old is code named NOODLES.

Mario talks so fast that it is almost impossible to understand him. Mario has the habit of using a big word when a small word will do. For example, he will say "I sent a missive" when he means to say "I mailed a letter." He also constantly uses slang words, such as "broad" and "dame". It quickly becomes apparent that the reason he does this is to disguise his conversation from the Japanese women who work for him. All of them speak some English, but when Mario talks in this way, they will not be able to understand him.

Mario invites Rogers, Sam and Tony into a back, private room in his office. It has a big arm chair in the corner (which we later find out pulls out into a bed. This room becomes significant later on.) Rogers explains Sam's story.

Rogers and Tony leave the office, leaving behind Mario and Sam. Shortly thereafter, Mario's son arrives, who is known as Mario Junior. MARIO JUNIOR is a handsome clean cut man around 21 who looks like James Dean. He speaks fluent Japanese.

Mario Junior sits down

(As Mario begins to speak, the camera moves around to show the faces of the various Japanese women working in the office that Mario is speaking about.)

Next, be careful what you say around here. You will almost never hear any of these broads speak a word of English, but all of them know it, but they are not fluent. So, you never use the common word for female. You always call them "broads" or "dames". They don't seem to know those words yet. Always use big or uncommon words or slang that they are not likely to know. Next, everybody in this office has a code name. When you talk about a person, you never use their actual name. You use their code name. Now, don't look around, but, when you get a chance, take a gander at the beautiful broad on the far end of the back row. Around here, her name is "CPO", because that's where I got her. I picked her up in the Central Post Office. Got her virginity, too. I'll tell you her real name later on, when she's not around. Now, look at the somewhat older broad in front of her. We call her "Noodles", because her father owned a noodles factory, until he died recently, poor fellow. She's 27. I got her virginity too. My son's had her too.

Sam now starts his new life in Japan, sleeping in Mario's office at night, while teaching English to Japanese salarymen by day. Sam often brags to his Japanese students about how his uncle helped drop the A-bomb on Nagasaki. Sam is paid 4000 yen per hour, which is roughly $18, but can only teach about two hours per day, because all Japanese salarymen want their lessons at exactly the same time, which is from 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM. The NASD course never materializes, because Tony, who used to teach the course, knew nothing about the subject and had alienated all the big Japanese stock brokerage firms who used to be Mario's clients.

Sam is required to spend every day listening to Mario, who is completely self-centered and is a non-stop fast talker. Sam quickly realizes that Mario cares nothing about the business of running an English language school. He only uses the school as an entree to get to meet Japanese girls. Mario only talks about two subjects, himself and his broads.

Mario has more than a dozen active Japanese girlfriends, plus countless others whom he has shunted aside along the way, but who call him or look him up from time to time. Mario can never stop talking about all of his girls. He recounts in sordid detail how he first got the virginity of every one of them.

Mario also has five children, one of whom is a five-month-old son named KENJI, whom Mario affectionately refers to as "that bastard kid."

Mario lives in a cooperative apartment in the Sanbancho Mansion, one of the most exclusive high rise apartment buildings in Tokyo.

Mario pulls a small notebook from his pocket and displays it to Sam.

Mario pulls out a second notebook from his pocket, this one larger than the first, so now both notebooks are on the table.

This helps in other ways. Sometimes when the broad calls, she doesn't mention her own name. She thinks that I will remember her voice, but I don't. So I'll be talking to her, but actually I don't know who I 'm talking to. But if she says, "My friend Mariko", for example, I'll quickly leaf through my book until I find a broad whose best friend is named Mariko. That way, I can figure out whom I'm talking to without revealing that I've forgotten about her.

Now, Mario produces yet another book.

Then, one fine day, the doorbell rang. I answered the door, and there was Hario, suitcase in hand. She claimed that she had some sort of problem with her parents and that she had to move out. They threw her out, she said. She said she can't go back there.

So, what could I do? I couldn't slam the door in her face. Naturally, I let her in the front door. Have you ever heard the story about the Arab who allowed the camel to put his nose in the tent? Little did I know what was going to happen next. Naturally, I let her spend the first night there. But, I was careful. I didn't lay her. I didn't touch her. The next day, a delivery man from Nagoya rings the doorbell. Hario was standing by the buzzer. She buzzed him up, and then answered the door. The next thing I know, a whole shit load of stuff, all belonging to Hario, was in the living room of my apartment, and the delivery man has gone. I said "Whoa! Wait a minute!" I told her she couldn't do that. She had to move her stuff out.

Finally, I had a sit-down with her. I gave her a talking to. I told her she couldn't stay any longer. She had to find some place else to live. But she begged me not to throw her out. Finally, I gave in and said that she could stay just one more night. She promised to find her own place tomorrow, but she didn't. She's still there today. What do you want me to do, call the police?

How that happened was that one day, I was sitting around my apartment at about 2:00 PM. My date that morning wouldn't give me a lay and my afternoon date had canceled. I was going to meet another broad that evening who was going to lay me for sure, but I couldn't stand it. I just couldn't wait any longer. So, I decided to go into the bathroom and beat my dick.

But, just before doing that, I looked across the room and there was Hario sitting there. All of a sudden, she looked mighty good. And it was almost like she must have read my mind. I didn't say a single word. She came right over and sat down next to me. And she reached over and she touched me and, WHAM, she was pregnant.

You see, Naomi doesn't have much of a mother and, by this time, she had gotten attached to Hario. Naomi has a real mother. Her name is Naluko, but she's a real scum. Naomi's mother abandoned her daughter since the age of six, and hasn't seen her since. Naluko threw Naomi out of the house. Naomi called me on the telephone, told me to come and pick her up. She was at her grandparent's house. I drove over there. Naomi was standing on the street waiting for me, with her suitcase in hand. Can you imagine? A six year old child!

Naomi has been with me ever since. We had a child custody case. The court granted her mother weekly visitation. The first weekend, we sat around the apartment waiting for Naluko to show up at the appointed time. She never came. She never came at all, and she's never come since. That's why Naomi hasn't seen her mother in five years.

I can guarantee that Naomi saved Kenji's life. That kid was going to get killed that day, if Naomi hadn't done that. Kenji is a very healthy, happy kid now, a bouncing baby boy.

Anyway, now that I've told you the whole story. I ought to take you to meet them. Let's go.

Mario and Sam put on their coats and leave Mario's office.

EXT. ENTRANCE TO THE SANBANCHO MANSION, MARIO'S COOPERATIVE APARTMENT BUILDING

Sam and Mario enter the Sanbancho Mansion and get on the elevator.

INT. MARIO'S COOPERATIVE APARTMENT

Mario rings the doorbell. HARIO opens the door and lets them in.

Hario seems to be a nice lady of average appearance.

Sam continues to follow Mario. Sam doesn't talk to Hario. Mario passes a five month old baby who is sitting in a car seat on the floor. Mario points out KENJI.

Sam ogles Kenji, who is a cute baby boy.

NAOMI has reddish brown hair and is obviously a mix between American and Japanese. She seems to be a very nice girl. Sam doesn't talk to her, either. After only a few moments, Sam and Mario are on their way out the door.

Sam and Mario go out and get on the elevator.

INT. THE ELEVATOR IN THE SANBANCHO MANSION.

(Note: In spite of this open invitation, Sam never follows up on this. Sam never tries to speak to, much less to lay, Hario.)

Mario hands Sam the papers he needs taken back to his office.

Sam and Mario split up.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE SOME DAYS LATER

As usual, Sam and Mario sit across two desks from each other and Mario talks about himself and his experiences.

The first broad I got in my life, I'll never forget. She was 16 years old. She was dressed in rags. She was wearing something that looked like a gunny sack. She took my virginity.

At this point, tears begin to well in Mario's eyes, as he continues the story.

Still, I can't tell you why my thoughts keep coming back to that particular broad. I've had so many, but she is the one who is always on my mind. Who knows who she was or what she might have been? Tokyo and Yokohama had been reduced to rubble. This place was flatter than a pancake. All these high rise buildings you see now weren't there then. People had nothing to eat then. This broad, the broad who took my virginity, was just struggling to stay alive and, when I say she wasn't very beautiful, remember that it is totally unfair to compare her with the broads we have today. These broads today are wearing the latest Paris fashions and all that mascara and makeup, and then they complain bitterly that they can't get this or that. Those broads back then had nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The telephone rings. Mario answers.

Mario frantically pulls out both his date book and his appointment book and flips through the pages. He finally seems to find the right page, which has the information on the woman whom he obviously has on the line.

Mario looks at his date book, with information on this particular girl.

Mario puts down the telephone.

Now, I'm going to teach you a few tricks and some rules to follow. Thing's you'll need to know to get laid in Japan.

To start off, unlike in America, you never meet a broad at her place. You don't pick her up at her house. You almost never meet her parents. Not that there's any problem. You can call her at all hours of the day or night. Her parents will never say anything. In Japan, the parents never interfere in their daughter's love life, which makes it especially good for us.

Another reason why you don't go to the broad's place is that she probably lives in a dingy little place that she isn't very proud of. She might even be living in a single six mat room with her mother and father. She doesn't want you to know that. By the way, here in Japan, they have three kinds of rooms: three mat, four and a half mat and six mat. In Japan, everything is uniform like that. Don't ever try to rent a five mat room. There ain't no such thing in Japan.

Now, when you go to met the broad, you gotta meet her at a neutral meeting point. One of the best places to meet a broad is at the "koban" or "police box". There is one near the entrance of almost every train or subway station in Tokyo. What they mainly do is give directions, but it is often the ideal place to meet a broad.

Now, the reason that you will want to meet the broad at the koban is that almost every station in Tokyo has more than one exit. So, if you tell the broad that you'll meet her at the station, she will want to know which exit. If you cannot agree on the exit, you'll probably never find her. You've seen Tokyo Station. Imagine trying to find someone in there. There are so many millions of people walking around. On the other hand, there will usually be only one koban. It will be a small police box. Everyone will know where it is, and you can't miss the broad if you agree to meet her there.

Now, if, for some reason, you cannot meet her at the koban, you will have to agree on one specific reference point, a place that everybody knows. For example, if you want to meet her in Roppongi, you meet her at the clock tower on Roppongi corner. Exactly there. Everybody knows that place. It's a famous meeting point. However, I never meet a broad there.

Another example is the "rendezvous point" inside Tokyo Station. Note that the Japanese Government recognizes a need for this, so they have set up a specially designated meeting point there. Otherwise, you could never find anybody inside that place. There's miles of tunnels and corridors inside that thing.

Anyway, that's enough lessons for now. But, mark my words, I want you to remember that I've done this for you. Do exactly what I say, follow my instructions exactly, and you're going to get Tomoko's pussy. By the way, I'm pretty sure she's a virgin too. I've seen her only once, but it's clear she's a virgin. All Japanese girls try to pretend and act like virgins. They have a thing about that in this country. The broad can be the biggest slut in town, she can be passing out free pussy all over Tokyo, but she'll still try to pass herself off as a virgin. But once you get to know these broads petty well, you can unusually tell which one really is a virgin and which one really isn't.

One reason why I've selected you for this great honor is that you are obviously a man of substance. You may be broke and down and out, but you are obviously a cut above the average hippie who drops by Japan hoping to make some quick money teaching English so he can continue his travels.

I haven't told you this before, but I've been thinking about this. I can see that there's something about you. Somebody's chasing you. You're on the run from something. You told me you had problems with the SEC, but it's something more than that A man of your ilk does not just arrive in Japan in such miserable condition. You had to get away fast. You're running from somebody or something.

I don't want to know what it is. I don't want to know your problem. I just want you to rest assured that you are safe here. Nobody will touch you in Japan. Even if they find you here, they can't gun you down. In the first place, they don't have any guns here. I know all about that. I used to be in the business of selling guns myself. They were antique guns, but real guns nevertheless. They called me "The Angle of Death." The Government closed me down tighter than a drum. They took away all my antique guns, too.

Anyway, that's why I've decided to take you under my wing. It's a great opportunity for me too, to have a protég�Esuch as yourself. Frankly, it's advantageous to me. There are two special things that I will want you to do for me from time to time.

So, when that happens, I want you to be on call, at any hour of the day or night. I might call you up and say, Sam, I've got this extra broad here and I want you to speed over here right away and take this extra broad off my hands. Believe me, that's going to happen a lot. One problem here in Japan is you can't lay two broads at once. If you have a broad alone, you have an excellent chance to lay her. However, when she brings along her friend, you're dead in the water. That's where you cum in. I'll need you to cum to the rescue, to take one of the broads off my hands. Naturally, I'll tell you which broad is yours, and which one I'm keeping for myself.

In my case, my regular broads, the broads I've laid many times before, would be willing to go to a hotel with me, if necessary, but they will always prefer to come here rather than to go to a love hotel.

Another thing, since you just arrived in Japan, you will not appreciate this, but this particular location is one of the best locations in all of Tokyo for getting laid in the office. I went all over Tokyo and searched long and hard for this place.

EXT. THE KOBAN AT AKASAKA MITSUKE ON THURSDAY AT 6:00 PM

Sam and Mario meet Mario's date and her friend Tomoko, who has come, as Mario predicted. Mario's car is waiting. They get into the car, and Mario takes them to a fancy club in Ginza.

INT. A FANCY CLUB AT GINZA

Mario meets the maitre d', speaks to him discreetly in Japanese, and they are shown to a table. The four of them sit on the floor around the table, Japanese style.

But that broad over there is highly trained and cultured in the fine art of pouring drinks and in sitting in exactly the right way and wearing a certain special kind of kimono and so on and so forth and she pours those drinks in exactly that certain special way, and those buchos are willing to pay for that. It's a matter of prestige in Japan.

However, the real reason I come here is that I want to intimidate these broads a little bit. I want to get their cunt juices flowing. As soon as they walk in the door, they know that this place is as expensive as shit. They will not say a word about it, but they are probably awestruck now. They have probably never been in place like this before in their entire lives. They've never dreamed of being able to come to a place like this.

Meanwhile, the drinks have arrived and, just as predicted, Tomoko and the other one have poured drinks for Sam and Mario. They sit demurely throughout, and never say anything. They also never touch the drinks.

I know you've got a school, but that's really bullshit. I've been able to observe that you don't give a shit about your business, except to the extent that broads sometimes want English lessons, which gives you a chance to lay them. You hardly ever get new clients. The phones aren't exactly ringing off the hook. Moreover, the rent for your office must be astronomical and, in addition, you have to pay the salaries for all those broads who work for you. So, where do you get your money from?

Now, you may not appreciate this, but I happen to be an expert in rare coins as well as in rare guns. Indonesia, as you may happen to know, was for many years a Dutch colony. The Dutch traders came there for centuries and naturally they brought their coins from all over Europe, all kinds of coins.

I finally got my curator friend to open his secret vault. What I found there was coins that nobody else in the world had. Some of these coins had not survived at all in Europe. As far as anyone knew, all these coins had long ago been melted down to make other coins, hundreds of years ago. But an example of these coins did exist and only I knew where they were. They were in this small museum in Indonesia.

Now, the only man who knew and understood what these coins were was the curator of that museum, but he was already an old man. And, even he did not know how much they were worth. He knew they were valuable, but he had no idea how valuable. After all, they were not listed in any coin catalog, because nobody thought they existed any more.

The next problem was, I had to sell it. I obviously couldn't advertise in the coin magazines, but I was in touch with other people who knew coins. I would bring the real coin to Japan and sell it here to a very private buyer. That buyer would also know that it was of vital importance that these coins never be published in a magazine.

I mined this resource for years and years. It was important to let these coins out slowly, not all at once, to keep the value up. Later on, I became afraid things were getting hot, so I left Indonesia and moved back here. From then on, I would send the curator an air ticket. I would fly him to Japan, take him out on the town, get him a broad if he wanted one and so on. I would also give him a few thousand dollars to take back with him, which was a lot of money for him. And he always brought me some coins.

Finally, I had taken almost everything of value out of that museum. At about the same time, he started to up the ante. It must have begun to dawn on him that I was selling these coins for a lot more than I was giving him. The last time he came here, he really demanded a lot of money and the coins he brought were not very good. He even threatened to expose the whole thing if I didn't give him a lot of money, although I knew he couldn't do that, as he would be in more trouble than me. So I told him, I'm sorry. I'm broke now. I can't help you at this time. I actually felt sorry for him though. He went back to Indonesia empty handed, and he died shortly thereafter. And when he died, his secret died with him, except that now you know it, Sam.

Now Mario becomes extremely agitated, and pounds his fist on the table.

(The camera takes a wide angle shot of Mario pounding his fist, while a Japanese woman sits on each side of him.)

All this time, Tomoko and her friend have been sitting quietly, having hardly said a word all evening. Meanwhile, they have been pouring the drinks and doing all the little things Japanese women are supposed to do in such situations. Sam doesn't even know if Tomoko can speak English yet.

Mario signs for the bill. The four of them leave. They get in his car. He drives them to the park near the Royal Palace.

EXT. THE PUBLIC PARK NEAR THE ROYAL PALACE AT NIGHT

The four of them walk through the park. Mario and his companion lead the way. Sam and Tomoko follow.

(Remember that in such situations Mario uses slang words like "mitt" since the lady involved will likely understand the word "hand.")

Mario takes the hand of his companion while almost simultaneously Sam takes the hand of Tomoko. There is no resistance.

They continue to walk for about ten minutes. They then go back to Mario's car. As before, Sam and Tomoko get in the back seat while Mario and his companion get in the front.

Mario drives Tomoko and her companion to the Shinagawa train station. All get out. Tomoko and her friend already have passes so they don't need to buy train tickets. They wave good-bye and go past the ticket taker. Mario and Sam get back in the car. Mario starts driving Sam back to the office.

Mario lets Sam off near his office.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE

Sam enters the office. Almost as soon as he gets in the door, the telephone rings. Sam answers. It's Mario Junior.

I still can't get over the stupid things my father keeps doing. Me, I never hold hands on the first date, or even on the second. I treat my broads with decency and respect. I bring her to my place and cook her a nice dinner myself. I treat her like a proper lady, until the time arrives to fuck her, of course. And I always get 'em, at least 99 per cent. My father's score rate is way down to less than 75 per cent these days.

Anyway, look, I've got somebody scheduled to arrive here in just a few minutes. I've got to go. Just keep it up, and I'm sure you'll eventually get Tomoko. I'm glad you liked her. Good luck.

Mario Junior hangs up.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE THE NEXT DAY

Now, my two main broads these days are Atsuko, but we call her Norton, and Miss Pine Village. Her name is obvious to any Japanese because the first kanji, or Japanese character, to write her name means "Pine" and the second means "Village". Still, they haven't figured it out around here. CPO you know. Her real name is Hiromi. Then there is "the one on the left" and "the one on my Right". There's a story about that. My son and I met them both at the same time. We took them out together. When we were sitting together for the first time, the one who was sitting on my left because the one on the left. We've called her that ever since. The same way for the one on my right. Needless to say, we've both laid both of them many times ever since. The one on my right hasn't been around lately, but the one on the left comes here all the time. In fact, her daughter has become Naomi's best friend.

After that, there's too many broads to mention. There's "Fifty Storms" who, like Pine Village, has a code name based upon the Japanese characters in her real name. Every time we get involved with a new broad, we have to come up with a new name for her. Of course, you already know the "BC" and "the nasty old bitch" and "that scum" who is my ex-wife, of course. There's lots of others.

Incidentally, these broads in the office do the same thing. They also have code names for us. We're always trying to figure out what our name is. My son and I listen to them, just like they listen to us. By now, they probably have a name for you too, although we don't know what it is.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE AT NIGHT.

Sam is outside. Turns the key to the door and walks is. He takes his coat off, sits down. Moments later, Mario walks in with a woman. She bows her head down, covers her face. Mario barks at Sam.

Sam puts his coat back on and quickly leaves.

Two hours later, Sam comes back to the office. The office is empty. The telephone rings. It's Mario.

Mario hangs up.

The telephone rings again. This time it's Tony, the man who originally introduced Sam to Mario.

If you want, I'll give you a better job. I'll introduce you to Bill Dorsey. He can get you in the movies. Make big bucks.

EXT. AKASAKA MITSUKE STATION DAYTIME

Sam meets Tony inside the station.

Sam and Tony get on the subway. Go to Tokyo Station.

EXT. TOKYO STATION DAYTIME

Tony walks around Tokyo Station looking in trash cans and picking up discarded tickets on the floor.

Sam feels embarrassed, but dutifully starts picking up tickets from the floor of the station, while thousands of rushing passengers go past him on all sides on the way to catch their trains.

Tony proudly hands the ticket to Sam. The reason for this is that other passengers also try to cheat the JNR. Somebody must have gotten on at a local station near Tony's house, purchased the minimum ticket, and then discarded it on the floor in Tokyo station, using a pass to get out of the station. Now, Sam is able to use that same ticket to get back to the original proper destination.

On the way to the train platform, Tony spots an attractive woman, about 23, and approaches her.

Tony then says a few words to her in Japanese. She seems interested.

The woman nods her head.

Tony hands a pen and paper to the woman. The woman writes down a number on the piece of paper and hands it to Tony. Tony gives the paper to Sam. The woman leaves.

EXT. INSIDE THE TRAIN ON THE WAY TO TONY'S HOUSE

A woman on the train is carrying a newborn baby. Without warning, Tony approaches the woman and takes the baby out of her arms.

Tony hands the baby back to the lady, who is obviously startled, but says nothing.

After two changes of train, they arrive at Tony's station. As they exit the station, Sam gives up his ticket to the ticket taker. The ticket taker accepts it. There is apparently nothing wrong with the ticket, which Tony had picked up off the floor of Tokyo Station.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE STATION IN TONY'S VILLAGE

About a hundred bicycles are lined up outside the station. Tony picks out a girl's bicycle, gets on it and starts riding slowly, as Sam walks along side him. After a while, Tony speaks.

Tony gets off the bicycle and leans it next to a bush. Tony and Sam walk to Tony's house.

INT. TONY'S HOUSE DAYTIME

Sam and Tony enter Tony's house, where Sam meets Tony's wife and infant son. Tony's wife is in her mid to late twenties and wears a kimono. Not a fancy dress kimono but a regular around the house kimono.

The next morning, Sam and Tony rise to leave. In the night, Tony's wife has washed and ironed all of Sam's clothing, which was badly needed. Tony and Sam walk to the train station. Tony doesn't take a bicycle this time. They catch the train.

EXT. ON THE TRAIN

INT. BILL DORSEY'S OFFICE IN YOYOGI DAYTIME

BILL DORSEY is a paunchy black American man about 35. He came to Japan in the military during the Viet Nam War and, like so many others, decided to settle here and never went back. He is now married with a Japanese wife and children. Bill runs a modest office. His primary business is to provide foreigners as extras for Japanese movies and television.

Sam quickly fills out the card and hands it to Bill. Bill calls one of his employees, hands her the card and tells her in Japanese to put it in the file of extras. (Bill, of course, is a fluent speaker of Japanese).

Sam and Tony leave Bill's office.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE DAYTIME

Sam is sitting at his desk. The telephone rings. Noodles answers, tells Sam (in broken English) that the call is for him. Sam picks up the telephone.

INT. THE NHK STUDIO

Sam goes to the NHK Studio and appears in an extremely brief non-speaking role in a Japanese movie

INT. LOBBY OF THE BANK OF AMERICA IN TOKYO

Sam greets Rogers.

Sam and Rogers go downstairs. Eat in the same restaurant where Sam previously ate with Rogers and Tony.

INT. A JAPANESE RESTAURANT DAYTIME

Sam and Rogers leave the restaurant and catch the Tokaido Line back to his town.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE NIGHT

Rogers gets out a shogi book, shogi board and shogi pieces, and hands them to Sam

Sam opens the shogi board, spills the pieces on it and starts reading the book. Rogers leaves the office.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE THE NEXT MORNING

Sam is still sitting at the shogi board where Rogers left him. Rogers opened the office in the morning. Sam is bleary eyed.

EXT. SENDAGAYA STATION DAYTIME

Rogers and Sam walk from Sendagaya Station to the nearby headquarters of the Nihon Shogi Renmei.

INT. FOURTH FLOOR OF THE NIHON SHOGI RENMEI DAYTIME

Rogers introduces Sam to MR. ONOGI.

Onogi leaves but comes back shortly.

Rogers takes Sam downstairs to the lobby of the Shogi Renmei. Rogers speaks in Japanese to the sales lady and buys for Sam a shogi board, shogi pieces, and several shogi books.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE DAYTIME

Sam enters the office with his shogi books, board and pieces. Greets Mario Junior.

Sam goes in the back room (the room with the arm chair which pulls out into a bed). Sets up the shogi set and starts reading the book.

INT. THE PLAYING ROOM ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF THE SHOGI RENMEI, SATURDAY MORNING

There are between 50 and 100 players of all ages playing shogi. An attractive girl is taking entries. Sam approaches the desk and shows his pass. The director at the desk reads the pass, expresses surprise, and then speaks.

The director calls some of his colleagues. They have an excited discussion. Finally, one of them who can speak a little English speaks.

The official introduces Sam to a little boy, about five years old. He gives both Sam and the little boy a slip of paper which shows that they are paired against each other. The official directs them to a board.

Sam and the little boy sit across from each other. The little boy goes through a ritual for beginning a game. Sam imitates the little boy. The boy takes three shogi pieces in his hand shakes them up and drops them on the board. (This is the equivalent of tossing a coin for drawing for colors.) The boy looks at the result and realizes that he has the gained first move. They set up the pieces. The little boy makes the first move. Sam responds. They play the game. The little boy wins easily.

Sam's next opponent is a slightly older boy aged 6 or 7. Sam loses again.

Sam's next opponent is an even older boy, aged 10. Sam loses again.

Sam's next opponent is a teenage boy, age about 19, who is ranked 10-kyu. This time, Sam wins. When the boy resigns, he bows Japanese style. He gives Sam the slip of paper showing that he has won. Sam takes the paper to the director.

The director pairs Sam against another teenage boy. Sam wins again. The boy bows in resignation. Gives Sam the paper. Sam takes the paper back. Gets another opponent. Sam wins again. Now, Sam is back up to 7-kyu where he started. Sam continues to play all day, winning some, losing some. Sam finishes the day at 7-kyu. At the conclusion of the day's play, the director tells Sam that from now on the must win five games without a loss in order to go up one rank.

The next day Sam comes again, plays more shogi. Sam comes every day. His game is always the last to finish at night. The director tells Sam that it's closing time and he has to leave.

Sam gets up to leave. On the way out the door, another player approaches him.

Sam and his new acquaintance leave the Nihon Shogi Renmei and take the train to Shinjuku. They enter the Shinjuku Shogi Center on Yasakuni Dori, near Kabuki-cho.

INT. SHINJUKU SHOGI CENTER

There is a larger group of about 200 men. No children are here. They drink saki and talk loudly while playing. Sam plays a few games. Sam is now up to 2-kyu and his opponents are no longer little boys.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE

Mario speaks to Sam.

INT. MARIO'S COOPERATIVE APARTMENT IN THE SANBANCHO MANSION

There is a large gathering in Mario's apartment. Sam is talking with a drink in his hand. Mario approaches.

Mario pulls Sam aside.

Sam dutifully approaches one girl after another and asks each one for her telephone number. All the girls agree to give their number. One of them is a very short girl with a Mississippi accent. Her name is YOKO. She is 19.

Mario approaches Sam.

The party is dark, but, when Sam enters the bedroom, it is fully lit. Hario, Naomi and five-month-old Kenji are sitting around waiting.

Sam leaves the room. Rejoins the party.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE AT NIGHT

Sam is alone, dials a telephone number.

There is a pause

Sam and Yoko hang up the telephone.

EXT. THE KOBAN AT AOYAMA I-CHOME AT 5:00 PM ON SATURDAY

Sam meets Yoko.

Sam and Yoko go to Mario's office.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE

Sam pulls out the key and unlocks the door to Mario's office. Sam and Yoko enter. Sam takes Yoko to the back room which has the arm chair. There is a shogi board set up on the table, as this is where Sam studies shogi. Sam and Yoko sit on the small couch in front of the shogi board.

Sam sits nervously with Yoko and tries to make small talk. Finally, Sam says:

Sam and Yoko get up and leave Mario's office.

EXT. ON THE STREET DAYTIME

It is a cold winter day. (Remember that this is still Winter). Sam and Yoko look for a place to have a cup of coffee.

Sam and Yoko finally find a coffee shop. Go in for coffee. After coffee, Sam says:

INT. THE COFFEE SHOP AT SUNDOWN

Sam and Yoko return to Mario's office. By now, night has fallen. They again go to the back room. Sit in front of the shogi board. Sam is very nervous. He fidgets with the shogi pieces.

Yoko rises. Sam puts on his coat and takes Yoko to the train station.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE MONDAY MORNING

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE THAT NIGHT

Sam calls Yoko on the telephone.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE DAYTIME

EXT. SAM AND MARIO ARE IN MARIO'S CAR DRIVING AROUND TOKYO

Mario drops off Sam in front of the building. Sam enters the lobby of the building, finds Atsuko there.

No reply.

Still silence.

Still silence.

Atsuko leaves without ever saying a word.

INT. THE OFFICE IN MARIO'S ENGLISH LANGUAGE SCHOOL ONE SUNDAY AFTERNOON

Sam is sitting there alone. The telephone rings. Sam answers.

Silence.

Finally, a low, almost whispering, voice speaks.

Silence.

Silence. Finally, after a long pause, Atsuko speaks.

Atsuko hangs up the telephone. Sam puts on his coat and leaves Mario's office.

EXT. SHIN-OCHANOMIZU STATION. AFTERNOON

Atsuko meets Sam as he comes past the ticket taker. They walk together. Hardly speaking at all. She takes him directly to her place. They take the elevator up to her three-mat room.

INT. ATSUKO'S THREE-MAT ROOM

Sam and Atsuko sit nervously on the mats to her room. There is no furniture. Only three tatami mats. A long time passes and almost nothing is said. Finally, Sam looks at his watch.

Sam and Atsuko leave, take the elevator downstairs. Go to a coffee shop. Still say almost nothing. Sam rises.

Sam pays the check. Leaves with Atsuko. They go back to her three mat room. Again they sit for a long time.

Sam tries to rise to his feet. However, he has been sitting on the floor for a long time, Japanese style. As Sam tries to stand up, he loses his balance, falls over and lands directly on Atsuko. Atsuko topples over backwards. Lands on her back on the floor. Atsuko is now spread-eagled, with Sam directly on top of her.

Sam surveys the scene. Atsuko is lying on her back, spread-eagled on the floor. Her head is lying on the side. Her eyes are closed. She is completely passive. Suddenly, Sam understands.

Sam unzips Atsuko, pulls her pants off only. Sam performs cunnalingus by eating Atsuko's pussy. When Sam has got Atsuko good and juiced up, he removes the rest of her clothing. Then Sam removes all of his own clothing. He gets on her, sticks his dick in her mouth. (Remember, however, that this has to be an "R" rated movie.) Atsuko performs fellatio by giving Sam a blow job. Now, Atsuko becomes active, flips Sam on his back. Gives Sam a better blow job. Atsuko gets ready to mount Sam.

Sam nods his head affirmatively. Atsuko mounts Sam. They fuck for a long time.

Sam holds Atsuko by the rib cage. In a sweeping motion, rolls the two of them over so that now Sam is on the top, but his penis has never left her vagina during this operation.

From now on, they both fuck much harder. Sam hooks his arms under Atsuko's legs, brings her ankles up around his neck. Bends her over in a jackknifed position. Fucks Atsuko very hard. Sam lets go of Atsuko's legs, but she keeps her legs up anyway. Sam bangs the shit out of Atsuko. Finally, both of them are panting, gasping for breath and covered with beads of sweat. Sam falls over on the floor.

Only a few minutes later, Atsuko shakes Sam.

Sam reluctantly rises and gets dressed. Sam is ready to leave, while Atsuko sits demurely on the floor.

Sam leaves. Goes to the sento (Japanese public bath) to bathe.

INT. A TYPICAL PUBLIC BATH IN JAPAN

Sam enters the sento, removes his shoes. Sam fails to notice that in this particular sento, unlike almost all others, the women's side is on the right, whereas the men's side is on the left. There is a sign in Japanese, but Sam can't read this. Sam goes into the women's side by mistake. Sees a bunch of naked, mostly middle-aged Japanese women. They hardly notice. Sam corrects his mistake, goes into the men's side. Sam soaps down Japanese style, washes. Finally gets into the hot bath with a bunch of naked, Japanese men. Sam reads the thermometer. It reads 45 degrees centigrade (which is 113 degrees Fahrenheit).

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE

The telephone rings. Sam answers.

Sam puts on his coat and leaves Mario's office.

Sam walks to Mario Junior's apartment in Roppongi, a twenty minute walk. Mario Junior lives in a "2KD" apartment, on a back side street, far but walking distance from Roppongi's center of night life. Obviously, this apartment is strategically located so that Mario Junior can pick up girls in Roppongi, a center of night life, and bring them to his apartment.

INT. MARIO JUNIOR'S 2KD APARTMENT

Sam knocks on the door. Mario Junior answers.

Mario Junior lets Sam in. Two girls are seated on the floor, Japanese style. Mario Junior tells Sam to sit down, in between the two girls.

One girl is 19, the other is 20. The 19-year-old is absolutely the most beautiful girl Sam has ever seen, anywhere in Japan. The 20-year-old is plain and dull looking. You can just imagine which one Mario Junior wants to give to Sam. Mario Junior sits on the other side, so the four of them now form a circle.

By now, the very beautiful girl has laid her head on the side of Mario Junior's bed and is fast asleep, even though she is sitting upright, Japanese style.

Mario Junior speaks a few words to the 20-year-old in Japanese. Then Sam, Mario Junior and the 20-year-old get up and go out, leaving the other one sound asleep, still leaning against Mario Junior's bed. They three go outside.

EXT. ON THE STREET AT NIGHT

Mario Junior talks to the 20-year-old in Japanese (which, of course, he speaks fluently). She is agitated, argues vehemently. Finally, Mario Junior translates to Sam.

Sam leaves with his newly acquired companion. Mario Junior turns and goes back to his apartment.

Sam and the 20-year-old walk to the intersection where Mario's office is. Sam motions for her to go in with him. As soon as she recognizes the place, she spurns and walks away from Sam, leaving him standing alone on the street corner in the middle of the night.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE

The telephone rings. Sam answers. It's Mario Junior.

Mario Junior hangs up the telephone.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE THE NEXT MORNING

Mario arrives early in great haste, before the regular office staff arrives.

(Mario bangs his fist on the desk, as he says, "It's them against us.")

Sam gets up and leaves Mario's office.

INT. MARIO'S OFFICE AT NIGHT

Sam enters the office. The telephone rings. Sam answers.

Sam hangs up the telephone. Sam picks up the telephone and calls Rogers.

Sam hangs up the telephone. Sam collects all his things, including his shogi board, set and books, puts them in a bag and leaves Mario's office for good.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE MORNING

Sam is sleeping under blankets on the floor of Rogers' office. Rogers opens the office and comes in. Just then, the telephone rings. Rogers answers. It's Mario.

Rogers hangs up the telephone.

The telephone rings. Rogers answers.

Mario screams so loudly over the telephone that Sam can hear him even from a distance.

Rogers hangs up the telephone.

Sam calls on the telephone.

Sam hangs up the telephone, goes to the train station, and catches the train to Ofuna.

INT. THE STUDIO AT OFUNA WHERE A MOVIE, "SHANGHAI DANCE KING" or "SHANHAI BANSUKINGU", IS BEING FILMED, DAYTIME

Sam goes to the dance floor. There he finds Tony, with his arms around a Japanese woman. They are supposed to be dancing in this movie. Sam finds a lady and starts dancing with her, to music. The dance floor is filled with couples dancing. About half of them are foreigners, American and European. This is a movie about the Japanese occupation of Shanghai before World War II.

During the shooting, Tony repeatedly tries to fondle whatever Japanese woman he is assigned to dance with. The women obviously don't want to be fondled, but they also do not want to lose their jobs, so they try their best to tolerate Tony.

Between shots, Tony speaks to Sam

Silence. Tony never answers this question.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE DAY

Rogers and Sam are sitting there. REIMER enters the office.

REIMER is a burley American, about 230 pounds, with long red hair and a big red beard. He dresses like a Hell's Angle or a professional wrestler and looks like a cross between Frank Zappa and The Macho Man. Surprisingly, Reimer is also a computer expect and a very fluent speaker of Japanese. Reimer often refers to himself as "a respectable businessman."

Sam and Reimer go to the train station, catch the train.

EXT. THE TOKAIDO LINE TO TOKYO DAY

Sam and Reimer ride the train. The train is filled with Japanese salarymen in business suits who are all reading pornographic comic books, most of which feature Japanese high school girls in high school uniforms having sex with Japanese businessmen. At the end of the train, there is one man who is not reading a comic book. He has a serious look. He wears a tattoo.

Reimer pretends to be trying to walk through to the next car in the train. He brushes past the Yakuza man and accidentally on purpose bumps into him.

The Yakuza is astonished and stands aside to get out of Reimer's way. He cowers in a combination of fear and shock. All of the Japanese passengers on the train are startled.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE

Sam calls Hiromi (also known as CPO) on the telephone. She is working in Mario's office. Sam asks Hiromi for a date. Hiromi agrees immediately.

INT. A JAPANESE COFFEE SHOP

Sam meets Hiromi for their date. Nothing happens. Hiromi spends the whole time asking Sam to reveal the code names for the girls who work in the office.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE

Sam calls Tomoko, asks her for a date. Tomoko agrees immediately. They agree to meet in front of the Kinokuniya Bookstore in Shinjuku in Tokyo.

EXT. IN FRONT OF THE KINOKUNIYA BOOKSTORE IN TOKYO DAYTIME

Sam arrives. Tomoko is waiting for him. Tomoko is very beautiful and fetching.

Unfortunately, Tomoko appears to be completely unable to communicate in English. She appears to be ready to do anything Sam wants her to do, and to go anywhere with him that he wants to go. However, Sam is unnerved because of Tomoko's inability to talk to him.

Sam takes Tomoko to the Aoyama Goban, a store in Shinjuku san-chome which sells go equipment. Mr. Aoyama is a chess player whom Sam has played previously. Now, Sam wants to use Mr. Aoyama as a translator.

The problem Sam now faces is that he doesn't have Mario or the use of his office any more. Sam has no office and no place to take Tomoko and nobody who can translate to her for him. This is the reason Sam takes Tomoko to Aoyama's shop. Aoyama speaks some English.

Aoyama welcomes Sam and invites Sam and Tomoko up to his office. There, he has coffee brought for them. However, after initial pleasantness, Aoyama seems to start criticizing Tomoko. There is a heated conversation between them (in Japanese, of course). Sam suddenly realizes that Aoyama doesn't like to see a Japanese girl dating a foreigner. Aoyama is criticizing Tomoko for going with Sam. Tomoko is defending herself. Finally, Aoyama turns to Sam.

Tomoko rises to leave. Sam rises also. Both leave together. Aoyama stares angrily, but says nothing further. Sam escorts Tomoko on the train to the Shinagawa train station. Tomoko waves good-bye and leaves. This is the last time that Sam ever sees Tomoko.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE

Sam is on the telephone with Reimer.

EXT. KABUKI-CHO IN SHINJUKU AT NIGHT

Reimer takes Sam to the TS Music in Kabuki-cho. They each pay 1500 yen and enter the show.

INT. THE SHINJUKU TS MUSIC IN KABUKI-CHO

Sam and Reimer sit in the audience. A succession of Japanese girls get on the stage and strip. One by one, they do a strip dance. When each girl is finally naked, a Japanese businessman in the audience climbs on stage and has sex with her. This is known in Japanese as a "Namaita style" show. By the end of the evening, every Japanese salaryman in the audience has been laid, some of them two or three times. Sam and Reimer are almost the only ones who do not participate. Sam is bored and unimpressed.

INT. SHINJUKU SHOGI CENTER

It is Saturday night. Sam is playing shogi with an opponent. Sam looks at his watch and suddenly realizes that he is about to miss the last train. Sam apologizes to his opponent, runs out the door.

EXT. THE AREA OF SHINJUKU STATION AT NIGHT

Sam runs from the Shinjuku Shogi Center on Yasakuni Dori to Shinjuku Station. Sam pays his way in and runs up the stairs to the platform. When Sam arrives, the train is just pulling out of the station. Sam has missed the last train and is stuck in Shinjuku for the night.

Sam now walks around Shinjuku. Sam enters Kabuki-cho, walks around, finds the giant mechanical crab on the wall, and finds the TS Music behind it. Sam pays 1500 yen and enters the TS Music.

INT. THE TS MUSIC IN KABUKI-CHO

The usual crowd of about 100 Japanese salarymen are sitting around the stage. The stage is a "T" shape. Sometimes the girls dance and strip on the main stage. Sometimes they come out on the platform, lay down and have sex there with volunteers from the audience. This is a Namaita style show. There is a futon on the platform where the girl lays down when she has sex with a man. Stage hands come on and change these futons at appropriate times. Each act lasts 15 minutes. Often, the girl will sing or dance a little before laying down and having sex. Usually, each girl will have sexual intercourse with two men in succession in her act. If the men are quick enough, sometimes she will look at her watch and say that she has time for a third. Almost always, the girl performs fellatio on the man first, giving him a blow job. If the girls are not especially beautiful, sometimes two or even three at a time come out on stage and have sex with men. Not all of the acts involve sex with the audience. There are other performances, magic tricks and even comedy skits. There are a total of eight acts in rotation. Thus, a total of two hours will pass before the same act comes back around again.

Not all of the girls on stage are Japanese. One is a foreigner. She gets on stage. She is tall and statuesque. She has long blond hair and blue eyes. Sam can recognize her accent. She is American.

The crowd of 100 Japanese salarymen all look bored. It is late at night and some of them are sleepy. Undoubtedly, most if not all of them have been laid at least once already tonight. They slouch in their chairs, apparently uninterested.

The American girl is really quite beautiful. She struts back and forth on the platform. She does her strip tease and finally strips naked and sits down. The crowd is still bored. Nobody volunteers to come up and have sex with her.

No response.

Still no response.

The American girl sits down on the stage.

The American girl points to a man in the audience.

One Japanese salaryman in the audience slowly and reluctantly gets on stage. The American girl lays him down on the futon, strips him naked, gives him a blow job and then climbs on top and has sex with him. When the sex act is finished, the man gets up and gets dressed and they both leave the stage.

Next on stage is a beautiful young Japanese girl wearing a blue high school uniform with a spotless white blouse. Her stage name is HIRATSUKA KAZUMI. She appears to be about 15 years old. She has that look of total innocence. In her act, she holds a high school baton, does a little high school dance and sings a little high school song, just as all Japanese high school girls typically do.

Sam gets bored. Sam yawns. Sam is thinking, ''This is obviously a little skit, in between the serious acts. I wonder why they let a girl this young into a place like this?"

Sam looks around the room. He notices that all the Japanese salarymen are now sitting bolt upright in their chairs. No longer is anyone looking slouched or sleepy-eyed. "What's the big deal", thinks Sam, "We see high school girls like this in the street every day."

Hiratsuka Kazumi completes her little dance and her little song. She then retreats demurely to a far corner of the stage. Suddenly, almost the entire audience (except for Sam, of course) jumps onto the stage simultaneously. There is pushing and shoving. Some men lose their balance and fall off the stage.

The men remaining on the stage now divide into groups of four or five and start playing a game of "Jon, Ken, Pone." This is a game known in America as "Scissors, Paper, Stone", i.e. the scissors cuts the paper, the paper wraps the stone and the stone breaks the scissors.

Now, all the men in their various groups say "Jon Ken Pone" almost simultaneously as they compete against each other. As the games are decided, the losers jump off the stage. Each group of four produces a winner. The winners face each other. Finally, a grand champion emerges from all the groups. All the losers jump off stage. Finally, there is only one Japanese salaryman left on the stage, plus Hiratsuka Kazumi who is still standing demurely in the corner waiting for the results of the competition.

Stage hands come on and bring a big futon plus other props. Music starts. Hiratsuka Kazumi motions for the winner to lay down on the futon. He lays down, and then she lays down next to him. She is wearing a spotless white blouse. She motions for the man just to unbutton the top button of her blouse only. He complies. She then points to the second button and he unbuttons that one as well. Slowly, following her directions, he unbuttons her entire blouse, revealing an exceptionally large breast, especially by Japanese standards. Now, Hiratsuka Kazumi undresses completely and then helps the Japanese salaryman take off all of his clothing.

Now, they are both naked. Hiratsuka Kazumi gives the salaryman a blow job. She is now facing the back of the stage, while he is facing forward. Once he has a hard on, Hiratsuka Kazumi mounts him.

However, now a surprising thing happens. The Japanese salaryman loses his hard on. Hiratsuka Kazumi gets off and tries again, but still the man can't get it up. Finally, he gets dressed and leaves the stage.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE

Rogers enters the office. It's morning. Sam is on the floor trying to sleep.

That night Reimer calls.

INT. TS MUSIC IN KABUKI-CHO

Sam buys a ticket, enters the TS Music and seats himself in the audience. A girl is stripping and doing her act on stage. Sam waits through this and several other acts. Finally, Hiratsuka Kazumi comes on stage, wearing the same blue high school uniform. She sings her little song and does her little dance, exactly as before. Then, following her usual routine, she retreats to the rear of the stage.

A bunch of Japanese salarymen jump on stage, and Sam jumps on stage too. The men divide themselves into groups of four. They play jon ken pone. Sam wins the first round. Two of his opponents concede defeat and jump off stage, leaving just one. Sam defeats him. Now, Sam is the winner of his group. All the losers from the other groups jump off. Now, there are enough men left for two groups of four. Sam wins his group again. The losers jump off. Now, there is only Sam and one other contestant left on stage.

Sam and his opponent square off. They say jon ken pone. It's a tie. They say jon ken pone again. It's another tie. They say jon ken pone a third time. This time Sam wins. Sam's opponent bows in defeat and jumps off stage. Now, Sam is left alone on the stage with Hiratsuka Kazumi. This entire competition has lasted less than one or two minutes.

Now, exactly the same thing happens as before. The stage hands bring out their props. The music starts. Hiratsuka Kazumi motions for Sam to lay down and then Hiratsuka Kazumi lays down beside him. Hiratsuka Kazumi motions for him to unbutton the top button of her blouse and so on. Just as before, he undresses her and then she undresses him. Now, Hiratsuka Kazumi sucks Sam's dick a little bit and then mounts him. Hiratsuka Kazumi puts it in.

Sam is now fucking one of the most beautiful women of his life. Suddenly, Sam realizes that there is a problem. Although he is completely inside her, he barely has a hard on and he is rapidly losing what little he has left. Worse yet, the spotlight is shining directly in his eyes. Sam is losing his concentration. Sam shields his eyes. He can barely see Hiratsuka Kazumi. Now, Sam realizes what the reason is why all those other men couldn't get a hard on with Hiratsuka Kazumi. Sam is really worried now. He is afraid that he might fail. Sam is going to lose his chance if he does not do something soon.

(During this time, the camera shows a blinding light, only out of the corner of which Sam can see Hiratsuka Kazumi mounted over him.)

Sam reaches up, takes Hiratsuka Kazumi by the shoulders, and flips her over on her back. Now, Sam is on top of her, without ever coming outside of her. Hiratsuka Kazumi is astonished. Apparently, nobody has done this before. She protests mildly, looks shocked. She exclaims something in Japanese. But, what can she do?

Now, Sam is on top of Hiratsuka Kazumi. Instantly, Sam has a really strong hard on; the doubts in his mind having been erased. Sam proceeds to fuck the shit out of Hiratsuka Kazumi. Sam puts his arms under Hiratsuka Kazumi's legs and pulls her ankles up to around his neck. Since the crowd is seated behind them, they can see clearly, of course. Sam grits his teeth, as he bangs the shit out of Hiratsuka Kazumi.

Sam finishes, lets her legs down. Sam stands up to get dressed. The crowd stands up and gives a thunderous, cheering applause. Even the few Japanese salarywomen (there are a few in the audience) applause. They climb on their chairs and look. Sam gets dressed and leaves the stage.

EXT. ON THE STREET NEAR THE TS MUSIC

Sam is walking around Kabuki-cho. He looks through the glass door of a restaurant, and there he sees Hiratsuka Kazumi eating noodles with two other women. One is another girl who does sex at the same show. The other is an older obviously lesbian bull-dyke type woman.

Sam looks at his watch and thinks about approaching Hiratsuka Kazumi. Just then, an American Cadillac of the type notoriously driven by the Yakuza (Japanese gangsters) drives up to the door of the restaurant. The driver has a tattoo and looks very much like the Yakuza who was confronted by Reimer earlier in the train. (Perhaps he is the same person.) Hiratsuka Kazumi and the other two women come out of the restaurant, get in the Cadillac and the driver drives off.

INT. SHINJUKU SHOGI CENTER AT NIGHT

It's a few days later. Sam is playing shogi. His opponent is drinking saki and moving slowly.

Sam's opponent dozes off and falls half way off the chair. A man sitting next to him props him up. Sam's opponent wakes up and makes a move on the shogi board. Sam looks at the board, looks at his watch, shrugs his shoulders and keeps playing.

Sam wins the game and leaves the Shinjuku Shogi Center. He has obviously missed the last train.

EXT. KABUKI-CHO AT SATURDAY NIGHT

Sam walks around Kabuki-cho. He sees a sign in Japanese which says "All night sauna 1800 yen". Sam pays 1800 yen at the window and enters.

INT. A LARGE BUT TYPICAL JAPANESE SAUNA

Sam enters the sauna, removes his shoes, puts them in a locker, is given a key, enters, undresses, puts on a white bath robe and enters the sauna proper.

About 300 or more men are sleeping on the floor, all wearing white bath robes just like Sam is wearing. Undoubtedly, almost all of them missed the last train and are sleeping in the sauna for the night, as it is much cheaper than any hotel. Sam looks around for a place to lie down. The place is jammed packed. There is not even a spot on the corner near the door.

Sam sits in a chair, the only empty place. There is a Japanese semi-girlie magazine on a nearby table. Sam flips through the magazine. In the centerfold, there is a foldout of a naked Japanese girl.

Sam thinks, ''That girl I fucked the other night is so typically Japanese that even this girl in the centerfold looks like her."

Sam flips the page. This time, he sees a photo of Hiratsuka Kazumi on stage wearing a high school uniform. "Eureka," Sam thinks, "This is the exact same girl I fucked the other night!"

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE

The telephone rings. Sam answers. It's Reimer.

Reimer hangs up the telephone. Sam goes to the FAX machine and FAXes the magazine article to Reimer.

The telephone rings. It's Reimer calling back.

In addition, it says that she has fan clubs all over Japan. Her biggest fan club is among the students at the University of Osaka. But she wants to give it all up. She thinks of retiring and getting married some day. That's all it says.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE DAYTIME

Sam and Rogers are sitting in Rogers' office

EXT. SENDAGAYA STATION TOKYO DAYTIME

Sam walks from Sendagaya Station to the Nihon Shogi Renmei.

INT. THE NIHON SHOGI RENMEI

Sam enters the playing room. An attractive girl is sitting there taking the entries. This is the same girl who was present when Sam first came to the club as a beginner one month ago. She looks shocked when she realizes that Sam wants to enter the shodan promotion tournament. She had written down the word for seven-kyu in Japanese. She now crosses it out and corrects it to one-kyu.

Unfortunately, Rogers is right. Sam comes nowhere close to winning. Actually, he wins three games and loses two, but the two loses are total defeats. After the competition is over, Onogi approaches Sam.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE

The telephone rings. Rogers answers. Rogers talks on the telephone in Japanese and then turns to Sam.

EXT. THE NEW OTANI HOTEL IN TOKYO

The New Otani Hotel in Tokyo is considered to be one of the finest hotels in the world. The Nihon Shogi Renmei has decided to hold its official reception here. Sam enters. There are lots of hors d'oeuvres and a fancy environment. Sam gorges himself on the free food. There are also television cameras, plus newspaper reporters and photographers. Sam is treated like a visiting celebrity.

The next day, the competition begins. Sam is paired against the representative from France and wins his first round game. In the second round, Sam faces the representative from Turkey. His name is Asad Kurbanali. Unfortunately for Sam, he is a much tougher opponent. He was actually born in Japan and has lived all his life here. He is a Turkish diplomat, working in the Turkish Embassy. He wipes Sam out and wins the game easily.

Sam is now placed in a consolation group, which he wins. Sam wins an exciting last round game against the representative from Canada. As a result, Sam finishes fifth in the competition. Asad Kurbanali finishes second, after being defeated by a boy from Brazil who is half Japanese.

INT. ROGERS' OFFICE DAYTIME

Sam spends the next several months hunched over a computer, writing his shogi computer program.

One day the telephone rings. Rogers answers.

Sam goes to the telephone

INT. A COFFEE SHOP NEAR SHIMBASHI STATION

Sam enters the coffee shop. Mario Junior is already waiting for him. Mario Junior waves Sam over. Sam sits. Mario Junior orders coffee for both of them.

The coffee arrives. Suddenly, Mario Senior appears from nowhere and walks up behind Sam. Sam realizes that he has been set up and ambushed. Sam rises to leave.

Mario Senior puts his hand on Sam's shoulder, pressing him down.

Mario Senior bangs his fist on the table.

Mario Senior goes into his Sherlock Holmes mode.

After that, I took out each broad on the list, one by one. I took them to dinner. Finally, I would bring up the subject. I would say, "It's too bad about Sam. And he's such a nice guy, too."

Then the broad might answer, "What's too bad about Sam". Then I would say, "Well, tragically, Sam has Binrumania."

The broad would answer, "What's Binrumania?" I would tell her, "Binrumania is an extremely rare but virulent form of venereal disease, which results in a certain and painful death."

When I said that to the other broads, like Tomoko, Yoko, Hiromi and Noodles, they just seemed bored and changed the subject. However, when I said that to Atsuko, she turned as white as a sheet, so I said, "You haven't had sex with Sam, have you, because, if you have, I have to get you to the doctor right away!"

So, Atsuko confessed. She had had sex with Sam. Naturally, I rushed Atsuko to the doctor right away. I took her to a doctor I always go to whenever I have VD. Atsuko told the doctor in my presence that she had had sex with Sam. The doctor gave her all kinds of tests. He couldn't find anything, but there's always the incubation period. I told Atsuko that Sam had contracted this disease when he was up in the remote hills of Afghanistan, and the doctors around here wouldn't know about that.

After that, Atsuko went back to her home town to check into the hospital for a series of medical tests. She's still there now.

Atsuko also says that Sam didn't cum outside of her when they had sex. She thinks she's pregnant. She says that if she's pregnant, she's going to have an abortion.

Throughout this, Sam sits glumly and remains silent. Now, Mario, who has been addressing Mario Junior up until now, turns to Sam with a big smile on his face

INT. MARIO JUNIOR'S APARTMENT IN ROPPONGI

Sam knocks at the door. Mario Junior answers.

Mario Junior and Sam sit and talk about nothing particular. Then, Mario Junior points to his bed, which has a rumpled blanket on it.

Sam walks over to the bed and peeks under the blanket. It's Hiromi. She has an impish smile on her face.

Sam returns and sits down.

Anyway, Sam, I still don't know what's the matter with you. I think that you're afraid of girls or something. There's one billion broads over here. One billion! Let me tell you what happened to me about two weeks ago. There's this girl's high school near here in Roppongi.

Then, a few days later, the second broad calls me. So, I agree to meet her at the same koban, and I bring her here and right away I lay her, just like I laid the first one.

Then a few more days go by and the third broad calls up, and I meet her at the koban and I bring her here and I lay her right away just like I laid her two friends. I laid them all right in the bed over there where CPO is sleeping.

Now, these three broads all take the same classes together in high school. Don't you see? They're passing me around, treating me like a sex object. They think that I have no feelings, no dignity, and no self respect. It's a tough life, you know? Let me tell you Sam. If you want a virgin girl these days in Tokyo, she's got to be at least 26 years old. The younger ones have all given it away long ago.

While Mario Junior has been saying this, Hiromi, who is still on the bed and under the blankets, slowly reaches out with one arm, grabs her clothing, and pulls it under the covers. Then, Hiromi dresses under the blankets. Finally, Hiromi is dressed and emerges from under the blankets and sits down next to Mario Junior. Hiromi smiles radiantly at Mario Junior and Sam.

Hiromi, isn't it time for you to go to your part time job?

Well, I think you'd better be going soon anyway, Hiromi.

Sam, Hiromi has a part time job now at a fancy club in Ginza. She's the receptionist. The first thing the customers see when they walk in the club is Hiromi. She wears a fancy kimono. They always put the most beautiful girl in the club at the front door. She says that she doesn't do sex with the customers, though. The other girls do, but she doesn't. I believe her. That's what she says.

By now, Hiromi is puttering around Mario Junior's 2KD apartment, washing the dishes and tidying up.

• Foreign Correspondents Club of Japan
• Brooklyn Boy Makes Good in Japan
• The Story of Atsuko
• "Hard Times in Tokyo, Japan"
• What happens next in "Hard Times in Tokyo, Japan"
• I am a big fan of TS Music
• Richard Reimer has died
• All Unmarried Japanese Girls are Virgins
• Mr. Fukuyama and his Three Virgin Daughters
• Fewer Japanese girls having sex for money than previously believed
• Asahi-News: Survey disputes ‘enjo-kosai�Ehype
• A Plain School Uniform as the Latest Aphrodisiac
• Pornography in Japan
• Miss Japan: Nana Okumura
• The Fake Ishi Press Web Site
• Toyo Eiwa Jogakuin website
• TS Music web site

• The Slave Children of Thomas Jefferson
• Pal Benko's Endgame Laboratory
• Sam Loyd's Cyclopedia of 5000 Puzzles tricks and Conundrums with Answers
• 365 Selected Chess Endings by Whitaker
• Collection of Chess Studies by Troitzky
• White to Play and Win by Weaver W. Adams
• Domination in 2,545 Endgame Studies by Kasparyan
• Modern Joseki and Fuseki, Vol. One by Sakata Eio
• Modern Joseki and Fuseki, Vol. Two by Sakata Eio
• The Middle Game in Go by Sakata Eio
• Guests of the Kremlin
• How to Take Over a Publicly Held Corporation
• Illustrated Catalog of Chinese Coins, Vol. One
• Illustrated Catalog of Chinese Coins, Vol. Two
• Illustrated Catalog of Chinese Coins, Vol. Three
• Report on a Linguistic Mission to Afghanistan
• Report on a Linguistic Mission to North-Western India
• The Farm Book by Thomas Jefferson with light notes and annotations by Sam Sloan
• Chinese Chess for Beginners (book)
• How to Talk Dirty in Japanese
• Khowar-English Dictionary
• The Orsden Bible: The Final Testament
• Sex Marchers
• Really Learn Spanish
• The Model Architect, Volume One
• The Model Architect, Volume Two
• Books from Orsden Press
• Order "The Slave Children of Thomas Jefferson" by Sam Sloan, from Amazon Books
• Order "Chinese Chess for Beginners" from Barnes and Noble